“Alex, that’s 1.”How Did She Do?
Should counting be used for bedtime? No. Getting ready for bed is a Start
behavior—actually, a series of Start behaviors that take a while to complete.
Counting is for obnoxious behavior, such as whining, arguing, teasing, or
tantrums, where cooperation takes only a few seconds. For bedtime, this mom
needs a bedtime routine. (See chapter 17.)Constant Requests
Eight-year-old Tom asks his mother if he can use his dad’s electric
jigsaw in the basement tool room.
“I don’t think so. You better wait until Daddy’s home.”
“Oh come on, Mom. I know how to do it.”
“No, I think it’s too dangerous.”
“There’s nothing else to do.” (Badgering, martyrdom)
“I said no. That’s 1.”
“THAT’S 1! THAT’S 2! THAT’S 3! THAT’S 12! THAT’S 20!
THAT’S STUPID!” (Intimidation)
“That’s 2.”
“Didn’t know you could count that high.” (Intimidation)
“That’s 3. Take ten and add five for the mouth.”
“Gee, I’ll need a calculator for this one.”
Mom moves toward Tom to escort him if necessary, but he goes to
his bedroom.
How Did She Do?
Mom did very well—one explanation and then she counted. Mom also adds five
for the smart mouth, and she has the presence of mind to stay cool in spite of the