With natural consequences you let the big, bad world teach the child
what works and what doesn’t. There are times when staying out of the
problem is the best approach. Suppose you have a fourth grader who
is taking piano lessons for the first time. She is not practicing as she
should and can’t sleep at night because she’s worrying that her piano
teacher will be mad.
What should you do? Nothing right away. See if the natural
consequence of not practicing (teacher’s displeasure) will alter your
daughter’s behavior. Some piano teachers are very good at getting
uncooperative kids to tickle the ivories on a regular basis between
lessons. If after a few weeks the teacher’s efforts don’t work, you may
want to try other Start behavior tactics, such as using the timer or
charting.
Or, suppose you have a boy in the sixth grade. Because you’re in a
hurry every morning, part of his before-school routine is making his
own lunch, with goods that you buy, and then brown-bagging it to
school. It seems like every other day he is telling you how hungry he
was at lunch because he forgot to pack his food.
What should you do? Relax, don’t lecture, and leave the
responsibility squarely on his shoulders. Let the natural consequence