1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting

(Marcin) #1

few minutes. Second, when the kids are approximately seven and
older, consider using the family meeting (see chapter 22) to discuss
and divide up the jobs that regularly need to be done. This planning
will help you avoid the curse of the spontaneous request, which we
mentioned earlier.
Third, charting is an excellent tactic for chores. The chart serves as
both a reminder of what needs to be done and a record of how well the
task was accomplished. When charting chores, consider trying only
natural reinforcers (praise, the chart itself, and job satisfaction)
initially. See how far you get with naturals and only use artificial
rewards (allowance, points, and so on) if you’re not getting anywhere
because the task is so obnoxious or foreign to your child.
Fourth, the docking system is also perfectly suited to chores. If the
kids don’t do what they’re supposed to, you quietly do it for them and
they pay you. The payment should not be accompanied by a parental
lecture about responsibility. Also be forewarned that some kids will
happily pay you for doing their jobs, and their chore-completion
behavior will not improve. What do you do in this case? You can up
the ante—they pay more for you to do the chore. Or you can just take
the money and run. Consider this an introduction for your child to the
workings of a service economy: you don’t get free service; you pay
for it. There’s a lesson in that for your kids.
One final word about pets. Caring for an animal is obviously a
chore. When they are overwhelmed with excitement about getting a
cat or dog, most kids don’t realize that eventually they’ll have to
regularly complete boring tasks, such as feeding, watering, cleaning
up, and brushing. When it comes to pets, our Start behavior tactics are
not all equally helpful. Praise, the use of a timer, and charting can all
be useful, of course. The natural consequences tactic is inappropriate,
however, because this method endangers the animal. Perhaps the best
method for pets is the docking system, because you can care for the
pet while your child is learning to be more responsible.

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