naturally, is to point out the word she spelled wrong. Right?
Wrong! PNP stands for “Positive-Negative-Positive.” Whenever a
child brings any piece of schoolwork to you, the first thing out of your
mouth must be something positive—some compliment. You might,
for instance, praise the child for remembering to show you her work.
After saying something nice about the child’s effort, you may then
make a negative comment, if it’s absolutely necessary. Finally, you
should conclude your insightful remarks with another piece of
positive feedback. So the procedure is Positive-Negative (if
necessary)-Positive.
The Rough Checkout
Our next idea, the Rough Checkout, will also help to make your
evenings a lot more pleasant. The Rough Checkout notion is based on
the fact that eight in the evening is no time to expect scholastic
perfection. You have worked all day, and your child has put in about
the equivalent of a day on a full-time job—before she even started her
homework!
Unless there is some major indication to the contrary, if your
daughter’s schoolwork is anywhere near 80 percent neat, correct, and
thorough, consider the job done. Let your child and teacher continue
worrying about the assignment tomorrow.
This advice is doubly true for ADHD or LD children who are
already having a tough enough time with school. You can also adjust
your Rough Checkout criteria to your child’s overall achievement
level. If, for example, your child is generally an excellent student (A-
B average), you might consider raising the required neat, correct, and
thorough percentage to 90 or more.
I learned this advice the hard way. A mother once came into my
office reporting that her twelve-year-old son was getting more
depressed, more irritable, and more distant from everyone in the
family. It turned out that homework was a major problem for this boy