parental wishful thinking allowed!
The Basic Bedtime Method
Before you do anything else, set a bedtime for the kids and stick to it.
The bedtime may vary, of course, depending on whether it’s a school
night or a weekend, school year or summertime. But exceptions to the
rule should be rare. Otherwise, bedtime is open to negotiation every
night, and then to testing and manipulation.
Let’s say you have a nine-year-old daughter, and you decide that
nine will be the time for her to go to bed on a school night. The Basic
Bedtime Method goes like this. At eight thirty you set a timer for
thirty minutes and tell the child that it’s time to get ready for bed.
This means that your daughter must do everything required to prepare
for bed (bathroom, teeth, pajamas, and so on)—on her own—and then
report to you. Make the preparation routine perfectly clear. If your
child is only two or three or four, you’ll have to help her get ready,
but the same rewards and consequences will apply.
When the child has completed all the necessary tasks, she reports
to you. If she accomplished everything she had to, praise her for her
efforts. Now comes the reward. Whatever time is left between eight
thirty and nine is time for just the two of you. You might read a story
or simply sit and talk. Kids love this kind of one-on-one time with a
parent. Stay in the bedroom and don’t do anything super exciting.
This special time serves three purposes. First, it is an immediate
reinforcer for the child independently getting ready for bed. Second,
the remaining minutes until nine are a nice time together. And finally,
these moments with you help the kids relax and get in the mood—
physically and mentally—for going to sleep.