prep was done, one of us (we took turns) just sat in the chair, facing
into the hallway. We left the side of his crib down, because putting it
up was now useless, and we turned on a floor fan for background
noise. We said nothing after bedtime. If our son got out of bed, we put
him back. After awhile we’d give up on putting him back in bed, and
he’d just fall asleep on the floor. Then we’d cover him and leave,
because if we tried to pick him up, he’d wake up.
After a week or two, he started staying in his bed and going to
sleep with no fuss. What a relief! He found our presence in the
doorway comforting, even though we weren’t talking. In another week
or so, we no longer had to sit in there. A couple of months later, our
little guy graduated to a junior bed.
The strategy for handling kids getting out of bed is based on a
basic psychological principle: if a child gets out of bed after bedtime,
the longer he stays up, the more reinforcement he gets for this
behavior. And the more he will want to keep getting out of bed in the
future. The essential conclusion, therefore, is that you have to “cut
him off at the pass”—the doorway to the room. This tactic is no fun
for Mom or Dad, but bedtime is not the time for wishful thinking.
Bedtime is also not the time for ridiculous conversations with little
kids about why they should stay in bed.
CautionNever forget one very important fact: if a child won’t stay in bed at bedtime, the
longer he is up and the farther he gets from his bedroom, the more reinforcement
he will get from that activity. Your job? Cut him off at the pass.