greatest amount of new learning and brain connecting takes place.
So it’s important to be realistic and not set yourself and your kids
up for conflict. The following is a list of our “Dirty Dozen”^1 —the
twelve mistaken parental expectations that cause the most trouble. Be
fair to yourself and your kids by memorizing these developmental
milestones. There are plenty more. Two-year-olds don’t read novels!
A Breakdown of the Dirty Dozen
- Tantrums
Erroneous Expectation: Parents see kids’ tantrums as unjustified,
unnecessary, mean, exaggerated, and a sure sign of mental disorder.
The Reality: About 20 percent of two- to three-year-olds have daily
tantrums, and meltdowns are equally common in boys and girls.
Tantrums occur frequently in normal children aged about eighteen
months through five years. Meltdowns are one way kids express their
frustration with not getting what they want or with being told to do
something they don’t want to do. Kids are more prone to meltdowns
when frustrated, tired, or sick.
What to Do: If your child has made a request for an item or an
activity, be aware that you may soon be dealing with a tantrum. Give
them what they want if you can, but if you can’t, finalize your veto
quickly and stop talking! Talking to a tantruming child is like pouring
gasoline on a fire. If the child is safe, let the meltdown take its course
and do not interact. Be gentle, forget the episode, and go on with your
life!
- They don’t listen!