Some parents only need a simple reminder about Parenting Job 3: strengthening
your relationship with your children. However, other parents have to work hard at
remembering to do it.Stop vs. Start Behavior
When it comes to discipline, children present two basic problems to
adults, and these two problems define the first two parenting tasks.
When we are frustrated with our children, the kids are either (1) doing
something negative we want them to Stop (like whining), or (2) not
doing something positive we would like them to Start (like getting
dressed). In 1-2-3 Magic, we call these two kinds of things “Stop”
behavior and “Start” behavior. In the hustle and bustle of everyday
existence, you may not have worried much about the difference
between Start and Stop behaviors, but—as we’ll soon see—the
distinction is extremely important.
Parenting Job 1: Controlling Obnoxious Behavior
Parenting Job 1, and the first step in getting your family back on
track, is controlling your children’s obnoxious behavior, or Stop
behavior. Stop behavior includes frequent, minor, everyday issues,
such as whining, disrespect, tantrums, arguing, teasing, fighting,
pouting, yelling, and so on. Stop behavior—in and of itself—ranges