gets a chance to speak, and that others listen without interrupting.
What is the agenda? Each person in the family brings to the
meeting a problem that he or she wants resolved. Then, with each
issue, the chairperson guides the group through the following steps:
- The first speaker describes the problem she wants resolved.
- One by one, every other person gives his or her thoughts and
feelings about that issue. Others try hard to listen. - The floor is opened to proposals for solutions; anyone can
speak, but only one at a time. - A solution to be tried is agreed upon. This final idea may
combine aspects of suggestions from different people. If there
are disagreements, Mom and Dad have the final say. - The solution is entered in the computer, and a hard copy is
posted on the refrigerator. - Next person, next problem; steps 2–5 are repeated.
Most solutions are considered experimental, especially if the plan
is complex and differences of opinion are large. If the proposed
resolution doesn’t work, that idea will be reviewed at the next family
meeting. Although proposals should be concrete, specific, and
practical, don’t be afraid to make them flexible and imaginative! (See
The Case of the Disappearing Soda section in this chapter.)
Sitting through these family meetings is not always easy. If you’re
hoping these will be warm, fuzzy experiences, they’re not. In fact,
family meetings can be downright obnoxious, so it’s a good idea to
keep them under an hour long. Before our family meetings, our kids
would grumble and tell us that all their friends thought my wife and I
were weird. But once they were at the meeting, neither of them would
hesitate to put in their two cents!
The Case of the Disappearing Soda