The point behind 1-2-3 Magic is that parents be ready for
anything, rather than feeling defensive and worrying, “Oh no, what is
he going to do now?” We want your attitude and message to the
children to be something like this: “You’re my child and I’m your
parent. I love you, and it’s my job to train and discipline you. I don’t
expect you to be perfect, and when you do something wrong, this is
what I will do.”
The credit for the solution to the room-wrecking problem comes
from a couple who visited my office a long time ago. They had an
eight-year-old boy who was very nice to me in my office, but—
according to his mom and dad—was “hell on wheels” everywhere
else. These parents said they were thinking of putting this boy’s name
on their mailbox, because it felt like he was running the house. They
often referred to their son as “King Louis XIV.”
Quik TipIf your child wrecks her room during a tantrum, one option is for you to ignore the
mess and let her live in it for a few days! That might make the child think twice
before doing it again.This behavior obviously couldn’t go on, so I asked these parents if
they wanted to learn 1-2-3 Magic. They said yes. I taught them the
program, prepared them for testing and manipulation, and they went
home to get started. This boy had been used to running the house, but