Your biggest problem in public is that your little ones can hold
something over your head that they can’t in private: the threat of
public embarrassment. This fear of embarrassment and public
disapproval has at times made even the most competent parents forget
what they’re supposed to do, abandon tried-and-true tactics, and
crumble. Try to remember this basic principle: the long-term welfare
of your kids comes before short-term worries about what others are
going to think of you.
Counting in Public
Let’s imagine that you have a five-year-old and that yes, in fact, the
candy aisle in the grocery store is one of your biggest problems. It
seems as though every time you go down that aisle, your son asks for
candy. You say no, and then the little boy proceeds to throw a
ferocious tantrum. He throws himself on the floor, screams at the top
of his lungs, and—don’t you love this part?—a crowd has gathered to
see how you’re going to handle the crisis.
What do you do? The first thing is to make sure you have the 1-2-3
program rolling fairly well at home. “Fairly well” means you are
getting a good response at 1 or 2 most of the time. Now you’re in
aisle 5, your son is howling, and the audience has assembled. You
look down at the unhappy little monster, hold up one finger, and say,
“That’s 1.” You say this as calmly and as firmly as you would at
home.
What is the key here? It’s not so much what you say as what you
don’t say. You do not, for example, let yourself be intimidated by the
threat of public embarrassment and whisper, “Come on now, I don’t
want you making a fool of me in front of all these people.” If you do
that, your child will know that you can be had for a nickel. He won’t
need the candy bar because he’s about to have more fun with you.