Plan B 107step is called the invitation because the adult is actually
inviting the child to solve the problem collaboratively by
saying something like, “Let’s think about how we can
solve this problem” or “Let’s think about how we can
work that out.” The Invitation lets the child know that
solving the problem is something you’re doing with
him—in other words, together—rather than to him.
After the child has been invited to solve the problem
collaboratively, he is then given first crack at generating a
solution (“Do you have any ideas?”). This doesn’t mean
the burden for solving the problem has been placed upon the
child. But it is good strategy, especially for children who
are accustomed to having parental will imposed upon
them. The burden for solving the problem is placed upon
the Problem Solving Team: your child and you.
Many parents, in their eagerness to solve the problem,
forget the Invitation. This means that, just as they are at
the precipice of actually collaborating with their child,
they impose their will. You see, somewhere between
childhood and adulthood, many people arrived at the
conclusion that the only person capable of coming up
with a good solution to a problem is the adult. Where
does that very unfortunate notion come from? Predeces-
sors. While there is some chance that your child won’t be
able to think of any solutions (an issue discussed in
greater detail in Chapter 8), there’s actually an outstand-
ing chance your child can think of good solutions—ones
that will take your combined concerns into account—