Learning Curves 167On a related topic, some kids don’t adapt well when a
solution doesn’t go exactly as planned. Mike, a remark-
ably rigid thirteen-year-old, had agreed with his mother
over when (twelve noon on Saturday) and how (with her
help) he’d clean his room. Mike was actually eager to get
his room straightened up, but he lacked the organiza-
tional skills to do it on his own. Unfortunately, the
mother was delayed by another commitment and wasn’t
around at twelve noon to help Mike clean his room. This
change in plan proved to be a major obstacle for Mike.
When the mother arrived home at 1:30 P.M. and sug-
gested that they begin cleaning the room, Mike was very
agitated. At 1:31 the mother insisted that they clean the
room. Mike’s agitation increased. The mother insisted
further. At 1:32 Mike exploded. What Mike needed was
a complete reconfiguring of the original solution. He
wasjustthatrigid.
Many of the examples I’ve read so far relate to younger
children. My explosive child is fifteen. Any special
suggestions?Believe it or not, your child’s chronological age is not the
key issue. His developmental age in the domains of flexibil-
ity and frustration tolerance is the key issue. So while the
language we’d use would probably be more sophisticated
for a fifteen-year-old than for a four-year-old, the emphasis