The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically I

186 The Explosive Child

Child: Ginny’s not going to change the way she

does her class.

Adult: You might be right about that. But let’s think

about this. I don’t know if “asking for help” will

solve this problem. And I can’t think of how we

would “meet halfway” or “give a little” on this

one, especially if you think Ginny isn’t going to

change the way she does her class. I’m thinking

this is one where we’d “try to do it a different

way.” What do you think?

Child: I don’t know what a different way would be.

Adult: Well, Ginny’s not the only one who teaches

that level. The main reason we picked Ginny’s

class is because the other class that’s your level is

the same time as your ice skating lesson. But I bet

we could change ice skating to a different time.

Then you could be in the other class. What do you

think?

Naturally, this Plan B discussion would continue until
a realistic, doable, and mutually satisfactory solution has
been agreed upon. Not only would the problem get
solved, Plan B would have been done in a way that set the
stage, over time, for the child to begin using the categories
as a framework for generating solutions. The expectation
is that eventually the child would no longer need a “sur-
rogate frontal lobe” to steer her through the process.