202 The Explosive Childfuel his frustration at a given moment. In general, when
these statements are made only in the context of an ex-
plosion, they may simply be a sign that the child is hav-
ing trouble thinking clearly at that moment. If they
occur outside the context of vapor lock and meltdown,
the statements may reflect something less fleeting.
Entire books have been written on how to restructure
the inaccurate, maladaptive thoughts of children and
adults. The idea is to help the individual recognize the
inaccuracy of his existing belief systems and replace the
inaccurate thoughts that make up these belief systems
with a more accurate, adaptive way of thinking. This re-
structuring usually involves “disconfirming” the individ-
ual’s old thoughts by presenting—in a user-friendly,
low-key, systematic manner—evidence that is contrary
to these rigid beliefs. With a child who is stuck on the
belief that she’s stupid, we might have a teacher or par-
ent whisper the following comment in response to a
good grade on an assignment: “I know you sometimes
think you’re stupid, but I don’t think someone who’s stu-
pid could have done that well on that math test.” In a child
who has bona fide weaknesses in one area and strengths in
another, a teacher’s feedback might be as follows: “I know
you’re struggling with reading—and that makes you say
you’re stupid sometimes—but I’ve never seen anybody
who was so good at math. Looks to me like you’re really
good in math and still need some help in reading.” With