206 The Explosive Childeasily frustrated, and explosive. Sometimes parents have
difficulties of their own—job stresses, financial problems,
or marital issues—that may make it hard to devote extra
energy to Plan B. And sometimes grandparents or other
relatives don’t make the task easier. We’d better take a
closer look at these issues.
SIBLINGSEven in so-called ordinary families, adversarial interac-
tions between siblings can be considered fairly norma-
tive. But adding an explosive child to the mix can make
standard sibling rivalry look like a walk in the park. For
example, though it’s not uncommon for “ordinary” sib-
lings to direct their greatest hostility and most savage
acts toward each other, these acts can be more intense
and traumatizing when they’re inflicted—chronically—
by an explosive child. And though it’s not unusual for
“ordinary” siblings to complain about preferential treat-
ment and disparities in parental attention and expecta-
tions, these issues can be magnified in families with an
explosive child because he may require such a dispropor-
tionate share of the parents’ resources. Finally, though
many siblings seem to get their thrills by antagonizing or
teasing one another, an explosive sibling may be consid-
ered less capable of responding to such antagonism in an