268 The Explosive Childdevelopment—but most of the time he can’t talk
about it until much later, and then we have to give him
some time to collect himself before we try to help him.”
“I tried that,” said the principal. “When he was in
my office, I told him that I wasn’t going to talk to him
until he was good and ready.”
“How did he respond to that?” the psychologist
asked.
“That’s when he spit on me,” said the principal.
“I guess that tells you that something about what
you said made him more frustrated, not less,” the psy-
chologist said.
“You don’t think having him sit in my office will
eventually help?” asked the principal. “I’m very un-
comfortable having him blow up and then watch him
go happily out to recess and rejoin the other kids with-
out there being some kind of consequence. I’m strug-
gling with this.”
“I think sitting in your office would work great if
Casey experienced it as a place where he could calm
down, rather than as a place where he’s asked to do
something he can’t do yet—namely, talk about things
immediately—or where he feels he’s being punished for
something he already knows he shouldn’t have done.”
“So why doesn’t he just tell me he knows his behav-
ior is unacceptable?” asked the principal.
“I don’t think Casey can figure out why he behaves