26 The Explosive Childcognitive set, there’s a good chance he’ll be thinking and
acting as if he’s still in recess long after reading class has
started. In other words, difficulty shifting cognitive set
explains why many children have such trouble making
transitions from the rules and expectations of one activ-
ity to the rules and expectations of another. And diffi-
culty shifting cognitive set may also explain why a child
may become stuck when, for example, his parents ask
him to stop watching television and come in for dinner.
If a child is an inefficient “shifter” and if other factors—
like the parents insisting that he shift gears quickly—
compound his mounting frustration or compromise his
capacity for clear thinking, even seemingly simple re-
quests for shifting may set the stage for serious explo-
sions. Such children are not intentionally trying to be
noncompliant; rather, they have trouble flexibly and effi-
ciently shifting from one mind-set to another.
Parent: My child does just fine unless something
doesn’t go the way he thought it would.
Therapist: Precisely.
Parent: Doesn’t that mean he just wants his way?
Therapist: We all just want our way. Your child lacks
some of the skills he needs to shift from the mind-
set he was in to the mind-set you want him to be in.
Parent: So what should I do?
Therapist: Teach those skills.