Pathways and Triggers 29idence a pattern called reflexive negativity. This refers to
the tendency for the child to instantaneously say “No!”
every time there’s a change in plan or he’s presented with
a new idea or request.
Can explosive children be helped to approach prob-
lems in a more organized, less impulsive manner so they
explode less often? Sure thing. But not with sticker
charts or time-outs.
Thinking clearly and solving problems is a lot easier if
a person has the capacity to separate or detach himself
from the emotions caused by frustration, an executive
skill sometimes referred to as separation of affect. While
emotions can be useful for mobilizing or energizing peo-
ple to solve a problem, thinking is how problems get
solved. The skill of separation of affect permits people to
put their emotions “on the shelf” in order to think
through solutions to problems more objectively, ration-
ally, and logically. Kids who are pretty good at separating
thought from emotion tend to respond to problems or
frustrations with more thought than emotion, and that’s
good. But children whose skills in this domain are lacking
tend to respond to problems or frustrations with less
thought and more emotion, and that’s not so good. They
may actually feel themselves “heating up” but often
aren’t able to stem the emotional tide until later, when
the emotions have subsided and rational thought has
kicked back in. They may even have the knowledge to