The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically I

Pathways and Triggers 35

Therapist: Can you think of anything else now?

George: I could have asked him when he was going

to put me back in.

Therapist: That probably would have been better

than kicking him, yes?

George: Yes.

Therapist: How come you couldn’t think of anything

besides kicking him when you were at the

soccer game?

George: I don’t know.

Can children be taught to use a basic feeling vocabu-
lary? To articulate their needs and frustrations more ef-
fectively? To access the more adaptive solutions that are
stored in their brains more readily? Of course. But not
with a reward and punishment program.

EMOTION REGULATION SKILLS

Most children (like the rest of us) are a little irritable, ag-
itated, grumpy, cranky, grouchy, and fatigued some of the
time. At these times, children (like the rest of us) tend to
be less flexible and more easily frustrated. If they’re
lucky, the irritable mood is relatively short-lived and they
return fairly quickly to their relatively happy baseline.
But there are some children who are in an irritable, agi-