42 The Explosive Childceptions to the rule or alternative ways of looking at
things. As children develop, they learn that, in fact, most
things in life are “gray”: There are exceptions to the rule
and alternative ways of interpreting things. We don’t go
home from Grandma’s house the same way every time;
we don’t eat dinner at the exact same time every day;
and the weather doesn’t always cooperate with our
plans. Unfortunately, for some children, gray thinking
doesn’t develop as readily as we might wish. Though they
are often diagnosed with disorders such as nonverbal
learning disability or Asperger’s disorder, these children
can best be thought of as “black-and-white thinkers
stuck in a gray world.” They often have significant diffi-
culty approaching the world in a flexible, adaptable way
and become extremely frustrated when events don’t pro-
ceed as they had originally configured.
More specifically, these children often have a strong
preference for predictability and routines, and struggle
when events are unpredictable, uncertain, and ambigu-
ous. These are the kids who run into trouble when they
need to adjust or reconfigure their expectations, tend to
overfocus on facts and details, and often have trouble
recognizing the obvious or “seeing the big picture.” In
practical terms, this is the child who may insist on going
out for recess at a certain time on a given day because it
is the time the class “always goes out” for recess, failing
to take into account both the likely consequences of in-
sisting on the original plan of action (e.g., being at re-