CHAPTER 13

Behavior vs. Potty Training

This is probably the trickiest issue I address in this book—separating

out behavior from potty training. There is a lot for your child to learn
when potty training. Certainly the first few days, and maybe even the
first few weeks, are full of learning. Learning, by nature, requires
making some mistakes and/or having some accidents. However, there
is a difference between learning and behavior. When your child is
showing behavior—and I mean of the bad variety—the behavior
must be addressed.
First, I need to cover some ground about boundaries and limits,
then I’ll hit specific behaviors I’ve seen in potty training. Boundaries
and limits have a bad rap in parenting of late. They can seem mean
or draconian or too authoritarian. Many parents don’t believe in any
sort of consequence or discipline. Let me state outright: I do not
recommend nor do I believe in hitting a child. Ever.
Chances are you are potty training somewhere around the two-
year mark, and around the same time, you may see some other two-
year-old behavior. This may well be the very first time you are seeing
your child act up, but it’s normal. The terrible twos (and even threes)
aren’t just a cliché; they are real. In the course of normal
development, your child must test limits. It’s his job. He needs to find