potty.- Your child suddenly, for the first time, asks to use the potty. I’ll get to this one in
another minute.
Third, you breathe normally for the first time in a long time. You
most likely will have the experience of “having your kid back.” Enjoy
this time. Don’t linger in the past or be freaked out by the future. It is
what it is, and it’s meant to be a time of regrouping and regaining
harmony.
Fourth, set a new date. Again, two to four weeks from the start of
the Reset is best. Your child will be marinating all the potty thoughts
in her head. It won’t all go out the window, I promise you. Hold that
date in your thoughts, and you can even throw it out there casually a
few times: “You are not using the potty properly, so we put it away.
Don’t worry, we’ll start again on Monday [or whatever].” Casually.
Just so your child knows it’s coming, but it’s not this looming fear.
Now, if your child asks to use the potty and it does seem like she
will use it correctly, you can give her one shot. You can either take the
potty out or you can use the insert. If she does indeed use the potty
the right way, you can tell her “Thank you. I will leave the potty out
for you. If you don’t use it, it goes away again for a while.” If there is
even one time of her not using it properly, you need to follow
through with the Reset. No matter what she says. This cannot become
a game. It’s either use the potty or don’t use the potty. Again, if it
becomes a game, it puts her in charge, and that’s not psychologically
safe.
A few words about the Reset and the child’s age. As I’ve
mentioned, if your child is over three, you will not want to use the
Reset. Period. However, if your child is under twenty-two months,