Oh Crap! Potty Training

of pressure on your child, which will backfire on you.
Particular areas of resistance include that some dads honestly and
truly believe the child is too young. After all, the (weird) norm right
now in our country is protracted diaper wearing and delayed potty
training, so you might be battling against your partner’s perception of
what’s “normal” or “right” if you want to potty train right now. Add
to this that some dads think rewards are good, and as we’ve already
discussed, this is reward-free potty training. Then there are the
people who just can’t commit to a process and be consistent. They
tend to be wary of any one process or book and think there’s
something better out there. I’ve had many a dad question my process.
One went out and bought two more books. Only after reading them
did he come to realize I kind of have a good thing here.
So, say you have flat-out refusal to participate or you are sensing
some resistance. First off, don’t ignore it! Yes, you may have a child
who’s an all-star, and you can laugh in your mate’s face in a couple of
days and do the “nah, nah, nah, nah” dance soon enough. But my
experience is that when one of the parents isn’t into this, the process
goes awry with your child. She’s got two different energetic forces
coming at her, and she’ll be confused. Also, don’t expect your partner
to just “stay out of your way.” The problem is, unless your partner is
gone for significant chunks of time, he will get in your way at some
point. Your child is also destined to be in his care at some point.
What you can do is try to have a heart-to-heart in a down moment
—after sex if you can arrange it. Kidding. Kind of. I mean don’t try to
talk about it when there’s chaos, like at dinner or bedtime. Try to get
at what’s really under his resistance. Bring up the various points I’ve