prefer peers who have a similar style of play. As chil-
dren grow older, they tend to have friends who have
similar temperaments, prosocial and antisocial be-
haviors, and levels of acceptance by peers. Adolescent
friends tend to be similar in their interests and atti-
tudes, and in the degree to which they have explored
options in regard to issues such as dating, education,
and future occupations.
Changes in the Nature of Friendship
The quality and nature of friendship vary as a
function of age. Children as young as two can have
friends, and even twelve- to eighteen-month-olds se-
lect and prefer some children to others. Toddlers
laugh, smile at, touch, and engage in more positive
interactions with some peers more than others. In the
preschool years cooperation and coordination in chil-
dren’s interactions with friends increases, and friends
are more likely to engage in shared pretend play.
Friends also have higher rates of conflict than non-
friends, likely due to the greater amount of time they
spend together. However, friends are more likely
than nonfriends to resolve conflicts in ways that result
in equal outcomes rather than one child winning and
another losing.
In the elementary school years, interactions
among friends and nonfriends show the same pat-
terns as in the preschool years but become more
sharply defined. Closeness, loyalty, and equality be-
come important features of friendship. Friends, as
opposed to acquaintances (or nonfriends), talk more
to each other, cooperate, and work together more ef-
fectively. In conflicts, friends are more likely to nego-
tiate, compromise, take responsibility for the conflict,
and give reasons for their arguments.
During adolescence peers become increasingly
important. Friendships evolve into more intimate,
supportive, communicative relationships. Many teens
become intimate friends with members of the oppo-
site sex, usually around the time that they start dating.
Social competencies such as initiating interactions,
self-disclosure, and provision of support increase as
preadolescents mature into early adolescents, and are
related to quality of friendship. In general, during
early adolescence friends begin to value loyalty and
intimacy more, becoming more trusting and self-
disclosing. Tolerance of individuality between close
friends also increases with age, and friends’ emphasis
on control and conformity decreases.
Changes in the Conception of Friendship
Children’s conception of friendship changes with
age. Young children define friendship primarily on
the basis of interactions in the here-and-now and ac-
tual activities with their peers. At age seven or eight,
friends tend to be viewed in terms of rewards and
costs (e.g., certain friends are fun to be with or have
interesting toys). When children are about ten years
old, issues such as loyalty, making an active attempt
to understand one another, and openly discussing
personal thoughts and feelings become important
components of friendship. Preadolescents and ado-
lescents emphasize cooperative reciprocity (doing the
same for one another), equality, trust, and mutual un-
derstanding between friends. It is unclear how much
the age differences in children’s conceptions of
friends reflect real differences in their thinking about
friendships or reflect differences in how well young
children can express their ideas.Influence of Parenting on Friendship
As children develop, they spend increasing
amounts of time alone and with friends. Particularly
during adolescence, there is a dramatic drop in the
amount of time teens spend with their parents. De-
spite these changes in time allocation, research indi-
cates that parents influence interactions with peers.
Children and adolescents bring many qualities to
their friendships that develop early in life as a result
of socialization experiences in the family. Researchers
find that children and adolescents from warm, sup-
portive families are more socially competent and re-
port more positive friendships. Further, there is
evidence that parental responsiveness lessens the ef-
fects of negative peer influences. For example, an ad-
olescent with a close friend who uses drugs is at risk
primarily if the adolescent’s parents are cold, de-
tached, and disinclined to monitor and supervise the
adolescent’s activities. Research also suggests that ad-
olescents without close friends are more influenced by
families than peers, and that adolescents in less cohe-
sive and less adaptive families are more influenced by
peers than family members.Influence of Friends on One Another
Friends can have negative effects on children if
they engage in problematic behaviors. For example,
aggressive children tend to have aggressive friends.
Similarly, adolescents who smoke or abuse alcohol or
drugs tend to have friends who do so. However,
because children tend to chose friends who are simi-
lar to themselves in behaviors, attitudes, and identi-
ties, it is difficult to determine whether friends
actually affect one another’s behavior or if children
simply seek out peers who think, act, and feel as they
do. Some research suggests that friends do influence
one another’s behavior, at least to some degree or for
some people. For example, some investigators haveFRIENDSHIP 157