Others of us may want to go only to help the other people, and may feel disappointed that the meetings expect us to work
on ourselves. That's okay, too. Health begets health. If we start working on ourselves, our good health may rub off on the
other people, in the same fashion that their illness rubbed off on us.
Some of us may be embarrassed to go. All I could do at the first meetings I attended was sit and cry, and I felt terribly
awkward. But for once, it was a good cry. My tears were tears of healing. I needed to sit and cry. When I stopped crying
and looked around, I saw other people crying too. Al-Anon is a safe place to go and be who we are. The people there
understand. So will you.
I've addressed most of the common objections I've heard to attending meetings. There may be other objections, but if we
qualify for membership in a program, go anyway. I won't be talked down. The Twelve Steps are God's gift to people with
compulsive disorders and to people
page_196Page 197who love people with compulsive disorders. If you're feeling crazy and reacting to people and things, go. If you don't like
the first group you attend, find another meeting and go there. Each group has its own personality. Continue going to
different groups until you find one that feels comfortable. If you used to go to meetings but stopped going, go back. If
you start going, go for the rest of your life. Alcoholism is a lifetime illness that requires a lifetime of treatment. Our
codependent characteristics become habits and may be tendencies we lean toward for the rest of our lives. Go whether
the other people in your life get better or sicker.
Go until you feel grateful that you can go. In the words of one man, "Isn't it nice they have these meetings and they let
me come to them? Nobody else wants me around when I get this crazy. The people here just smile, shake my hand, and
say: 'We're glad you're here. Please come again.' "
Go until you see the boat and the oars and you get happy. Go until the magic works on you. And don't worryif you go
long enough, the magic will work.
Activity
- Complete the tests or read over the list of characteristics on the following pages.
2. If you are a candidate for any of the programs discussed in this chapter, look in the phone book or call an appropriate
human services organization in your community. Find out where and when meetings are being held, then go.
page_197Page 198Al-Anon: Is It For You?
Millions of people are affected by the excessive drinking of someone close. The following twenty questions are designed
to help you decide whether or not you need Al-Anon.
- Do you worry about how much someone else Yes No
drinks?
- Do you have money problems because of someone Yes No
else's drinking?
- Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else's Yes No
drinking?
- Do you feel that drinking is more important to your Yes No