INFLUENCING THOSE BEHIND THE TABLE
A few weeks after José got back to the United States, I
drove to his family’s place in upstate New York.
I was thrilled when José escaped, but the case left me
with one nagging worry: Had my new strategy failed? You
see, José had gotten home safely, but not because we’d
negotiated his release. I worried that our winning had less to
do with our brilliant strategy than with dumb luck.
After being greeted warmly by Julie and her parents,
José and I grabbed some coffee and sat down. I’d gone
there to do what CNU referred to as a hostage survival
debriefing. I was after insights into how to better advise
people facing potential kidnappings how best to survive, not
just physically, but psychologically. I was also burning to
find out what had occurred behind the scenes because it
seemed as if my new strategy hadn’t worked.
Finally the conversation came around to our use of
calibrated questions.
“You know what?” he said. “The craziest thing was that
their negotiator was supposed to stay in town and negotiate
the deal but because Julie kept asking him questions he
didn’t really know for sure how to answer, he kept coming
out to the jungle. They all would get together and have a
huge discussion about how to respond. They even thought
about taking me into town and putting me on the phone
because Julie was so persistent with asking how did she
know if I was okay.”
Right then I knew we had the right tool. It was exactly