“This is not a good situation but we appreciate the fact
that you are acknowledging what happened, and we don’t
feel like you are mistreating us. And you are not the ‘Big
Bad Prime.’”
Anna’s reaction to how this turned out? “Holy crap, this
stuff actually works!”
She’s right. As you just saw, the beauty of going right
after negativity is that it brings us to a safe zone of empathy.
Every one of us has an inherent, human need to be
understood, to connect with the person across the table. That
explains why, after Anna labeled Angela’s fears, Angela’s
first instinct was to add nuance and detail to those fears.
And that detail gave Anna the power to accomplish what
she wanted from the negotiation.
GET A SEAT—AND AN UPGRADE—ON A SOLD-OUT
FLIGHT
Up to this point, we’ve been building each skill as if they
were musical instruments: first, try the saxophone mirror;
now here’s the bass label; and finally, why don’t you blow a
note on the French horn of tactical silence. But in a real
negotiation the band all plays together. So you’ve got to
learn how to conduct.
Keeping all the instruments playing is really awkward
for most people. It seems to go by in such a rush. So what
I’m going to do here is play a song at slow speed so you can
hear each instrument note by note. I promise you’ll quickly
see how the skills you have been building play off one