STORY 37
FINDING TENDERNESSTherapeutic Characteristics
Problems Addressed
■ Anger and defensiveness in relationships
■ Lack of intimacyResources Developed
■ Discriminating between safe and unsafe situations
■ Discriminating between safe and unsafe people
■ Choosing when to be defensive
■ Choosing when not to be defensive
■ Building tenderness and affection
■ Sharing your resources with others
■ Learning to have funOutcomes Offered
■ Management of anger and defensiveness
■ Discrimination skills
■ Mutual, sharing relationships
■ The joy of having fun
Once there was a mouse, called Fred Mouse, who lived in a hole in a wall in the corner of the
house. One chilly morning as Fred Mouse was eating his toasted cheese sandwiches for breakfast,
there was a knock on the wall near the hole into his home. “Can we come in?” called a squeaky voice,
and through the hole poked a long, slender nose that Fred recognized as Ernie Echidna’s.
“Sure, come in,” said Fred, sounding a little more confident than he actually felt. He sure liked
Ernie, but he was also a bit frightened of him because echidnas, like hedgehogs and spiny anteaters,
have lots and lots of prickly quills, and Ernie’s quills always seemed to be standing up, even at the best
of times.
Ernie had to squeeze and wiggle his way through Fred’s tiny door-hole but, as echidnas are used
to burrowing, he finally popped inside... and, as soon as he did, up popped his sharp, prickly quills.
Now, Fred was one of those friendly sorts of mice that like to give their special friends a big, warm
hug to greet them, but Ernie was one person from whom he stood back.
“Can I come in, too?” asked another long slender nose, poking through the hole.
“Sure,” said Fred.
Emma, Ernie’s friend, popped through the hole, too, her prickles standing up like Ernie’s. Fred
noticed that their quills were quivering.
“What’s wrong?” asked Fred.
“It’s so cold,” said Ernie. “The night has been freezing and up on the hillside in the high coun-
try where we live it has even been snowing. So we rolled ourselves into a ball and tumbled down the
hill as fast as we could to see if we could come and warm ourselves in your cozy little home.”
112 Healing Stories, Teaching Stories