■ Identifying the experience of fun
■ Learning to be playful
■ Building positive social skills
■ Learning to dofun thingsOutcomes Offered
■ Happiness
■ Joyfulness
■ Fun-directed activities
What you just said reminded me of something Angela said, and you might be curious to know
what it was. Angela was someone about the same age as you, and when I asked her what she would
like to be doing more of, her words may not have been the same as yours but I think the meaning
was. She answered, “Having fun.”
I never did learn why Angela wasn’t having as much fun as she wanted. In fact, it might have
been that she was having some fun and wanted to have more. Maybe we didn’t even need to talk
about the reasons behind why Angela had come to see me, because I guess she already knew them at
some level. Just talking about them a lot more—particularly to someone she didn’t know really
well—wasn’t necessarily going to make a lot of difference. And it seemed to me that when Angela
asked to find more ways of having fun, a part of her already knew what she wanted and needed to
do.
So I asked Angela what she did for fun in her life at that moment. She stopped and thought for
a little while, then said, “I have fun playing with my baby sister, but sometimes she starts to cry and
Mom blames me for upsetting her. So it isn’t always fun.”
She thought a little longer and said, “Sometimes it’s fun playing with my friends. We can laugh
and giggle a lot, but other times, when they pick on me, it’s not such fun.”
“In those times—even if they are brief times,” I asked, “what does that fun feel like?”
“I don’t know,” she answered.
“That’s okay,” I said. “Sometimes we don’t have to have the words for a feeling to know what
that feeling feels like. If you think about it now, is it possible to feel it?”
She closed her eyes for a moment, a smile started to creep into the corners of her mouth, and
she nodded her head.
“What do you notice about what is happening in your body?” I asked.
“My stomach feels sort of warm,” she said. “I can feel the smile on my face, it’s nice.”
I replied, “I wonder, if there are times when you want to feel that fun feeling but can’t play with
your baby sister or have a giggle with your friends, how you can do what you just did now. How can
you close your eyes and feel the warmth in your tummy or smile on your face?”
“I guess I can just do it,” she said, and opened her eyes, still smiling.
“Of your friends,” I asked, “who do you think has the most fun, happiness, or joy?”
“Libby,” answered Angela without hesitation. “She always seems to be fooling around. She is
sort of the class clown.”
“What is it that Libby does that helps contribute to her feelings of fun?”
“She is playful,” answered Angela. “She is always telling jokes or playing practical jokes on other
126 Healing Stories, Teaching Stories