Patty was studying drama at school. She told me about something their drama teacher, Ms.
Roberts, asked them to do at school.
“Look down at the ground, just in front of the toes of your shoes,” she said. “Don’t look at any-
one else or talk to them.”
They let their shoulders slump forward, hung their arms loosely at their sides, then walked
around for a little while without looking at anyone and without talking. After a few minutes Ms.
Roberts asked, “How are you feeling?” Patty told me that nearly everyone said they felt sad.
Ms. Roberts then asked them to stand in pairs, staring each other strongly in the eyes. “Put your
hands on your hips,” she added. “Stand with your feet a couple of feet apart and stare.” After just a
few minutes everyone said they were feeling angry toward the other person.
“Keep staring at your partner,” Ms. Roberts instructed them, “but this time clench your jaws
tightly together and make tight fists with your hands.” Again they felt angry; some even felt angrier
than before, and some said they felt really mad at the other person.
“Now,” said Ms. Roberts, “relax the muscles in your jaws and your hands, stand tall, and look
the other person in the eyes, blink a couple of times and begin to smile.” It didn’t take long for one
person to do this before the other person smiled back, and everyone was soon saying how much hap-
pier they felt.
“Close your eyes,” Ms. Roberts continued. “Give the muscles of your shoulders and arms a bit
of a wriggle, let your body stand there limply.” Soon everyone was saying how relaxed they felt.
“People think that acting is pretending to be something,” said Ms. Roberts, “but all good actors
know a secret that a lot of other people don’t seem to be aware of. If you change your posture and
the expression on your face, you begin to change the way you feel. You don’t have to try to pretend
to be happy or sad. By taking the posture of a person who is experiencing those emotions you actu-
ally start to feel it. It is real.”
Patty hadn’t thought about that before. She hadn’t thought that she could begin to change the
way she felt by the way she stood, the way she held her body, and the expressions she put on her face.
I think Ms. Roberts was teaching her kids about more than drama. Patty was learning some impor-
tant things about managing her own feelings. She said to me, “I had never thought I could change
the way I felt by changing what I did.”
STORY 50
EXPRESSING EMOTIONS CONGRUENTLYTherapeutic Characteristics
Problems Addressed
■ Difficult family relationships
■ Being affected by others’ behavior
■ Lack of skills to manage difficult situations
■ Failure of current strategies136 Healing Stories, Teaching Stories