basics of the language, exchange simple greetings, and pick up courtesies, like “thank you.” Though
I may be a long way from being fluent, even the process of seeking to join people in their own lan-
guage and learn a little from them can help break down barriers, establish rapport, and enhance com-
munication. Similarly, with children and adolescents, a small effort to join with the content and style
of their communication can make a big impact on their feelings of being valued and being taken se-
riously. Incorporating that into your metaphors will enhance acceptance of the story, and its thera-
peutic message.
School psychologist Tracey Weatherilt (2003, in personal correspondence), sums up the need to
join the individual child with what she calls a “note of warning.” She says,
Depending on the child’s age, cognitive development and maturity, metaphor maybe lost on the
child if made too complex or subtle. Although appearing to make an obvious point, metaphors
and stories need to be fairly explicit and draw a clear line to the targeted subject or behavior you
want to work on with the child. It is also necessary to use material familiar to children. This may
mean that therapists need to keep abreast of the trends and popular culture in children’s lives,
particularly when working with older children (e.g., popular television shows, computer games,
and SMS text messaging language at the various age levels). Using current popular culture con-
cepts and language also increases the likelihood of the therapist building a good connection to
the child client.Use Metaphor to Help Extend the Child
For me, using metaphors is a bit like raising the bar for an Olympic pole-vaulter. By inching the stan-
dard higher you help the athlete reach his or her potential, whereas setting it at their current or pre-
vious level of achievement does not encourage personal extension. For this reason I prefer to intro-
duce new ideas, information, and language on the principle that slightly higher is better than lower.
I would rather pitch my story a little beyond the child’s level than run the risk of talking down to the
child.
Some stories in Part Two contain information that is not essential to the therapeutic message of
the story but may help extend a child’s knowledge. “An Act of Kindness” (Story 53) talks about gorges
and black-footed wallabies. “Finding Tenderness” (Story 37) has as its main characters a pair of Aus-
tralian native animals called echidnas, and explains some of their unique defensive habits, while Story
30, “I’m Not Afraid Any More,” provides the listener with information about the world’s biggest shark.
At times I may choose to use words a little beyond the child’s level because I consider that sto-
ries are about teaching andhealing.They are about expanding knowledge and information. If chil-
dren can leave my room with a new word, new knowledge, or new skills, whether educational or
therapeutic, they are stepping forward. If they go home and tell a parent what they learned about an
echidna’s methods of self-protection, they have engaged in a learning process that can be adapted and
used to facilitate the movement toward their therapeutic goal.
Metaphors can thus be employed to extendthe child and his or her knowledge, helping to
■ capture a child’s attention,
■ stimulate the desire to learn,
■ set an expectation of learning,
USING METAPHORSHow Can I Use Metaphors Effectively? 231