more contact with others kids at school,” there is no need to weave complex or intricate metaphors
to achieve the same end.
Perhaps the clearest example for me of a failure in using metaphors was with my own daughter.
She had engaged in a behavior that I considered inappropriate, and I felt it my responsibility as a par-
ent to let her know. Having thought about it, I considered communicating the message in a story
rather than saying it directly. I contemplated the story over a number of days and told it to her one
day when she and I were alone in the car driving home. I thought I had wrapped the story up nicely
as we pulled into our driveway but she leapt from the car, slammed the door behind her, and wouldn’t
speak to me for the rest of the evening. Obviously the story had an impact, based on the reaction it
elicited, but not the impact I had intended. The lesson was important for, in retrospect, it seemed
that the story had been too direct, and represented my desired outcome rather than an understand-
ing of her situation. It was useful for me, if not for her, in that it led me to question whether that par-
ticular metaphor—or indeed a metaphor at all—was appropriate in the circumstance.
Because stories have a relatively universal appeal, it is often not a question of whether metaphor
therapy is an appropriate intervention so much as whatstory is an appropriate intervention. If story-
telling is not proving to be helpful in therapy, it may not be the storytelling itself but the content and
relevance of the tale to the listener. At such times we need to ask ourselves, “Is the character one with
whom the child can identify?” “Does the problem addressed sufficiently match that of the child?”
“Are the resources being offered relevant for, and doable by, the child?” “Can the child relate, in a
useful way, to the outcome?”
Avoid Using Metaphors Like a Medical Prescription
One option I explored in structuring this book was to list the sections in Part Two under diagnostic
categories relevant to children such as depression, anxiety, fear, conduct disorders, relationship issues,
and so on. I chose not to do that, first, because I consider it more helpful for the therapist to be mind-
ful of the outcome than of the problem and, second, to avoid the temptation to use healing stories
prescriptively. I wanted to avoid the formula that says “diagnose depression, prescribe Prozac,” “think
abuse, analyze repressed memories,” or “see conduct disorders, do cognitive-behavior therapy.” Such
prescriptive thinking may work, at times, but it runs the risk of being inappropriate and even dan-
gerous if it does not allow the therapist to acknowledge or adapt to the client’s individual needs and
resources.
For these reasons I have sought to avoid such prescriptive use of stories, though again there have
been some exceptions to this. Story 89, “Facing Thoughts of Suicide,” presents a message that sui-
cide may not be a wise option and that in the future things may look different. Such stories may work
for some adolescents at some times—and this is the very issue about using stories too prescriptively.
They work best when most applicable and relevant for the listening child or adolescent. One story
about not enacting suicidal thoughts does notfit all clients. Our stories are likely to be most benefi-
cial if they are directed toward enhancing the things in that individual adolescent’s life that will serve
as preventatives to suicide. Is the client feeling suicidal because of the lack of friends? Are these feel-
ings related to conflicts in their relationship with parents? Do they lack self-confidence and self-
fulfillment? Do they have negative, helpless, hopeless, depressive cognitions? Metaphor therapy may
be better directed to building those preventative skills rather than just saying, “Don’t do it.” Like any
238 Creating Your Own Healing Stories for Kids