tionally abusive to tell children tales of terror; but for Nepalese parents it may seem equally cruel for
children to watch violent TV cartoons without any clear moral message or disciplinary function.
The practice of using tales as a primary method of discipline is described here, not as a question
of what is right or wrong (depending on our cultural view), but to illustrate two points. The first is
to portray the way that stories are used traditionally in cultures other than our own. The second is to
highlight the power they may have in the control of behavior—a factor relevant to their therapeutic
use.
HOW STORIES BUILD EXPERIENCEOne of the things that differentiate children from adults is their level of experience. For a young child,
life’s experiences are still few. The older we get, usually the more experiences of life we encounter;
consequently, one of the major roles of parents, teachers, and therapists is to provide the sort of ex-
periences that are going to equip the child for what lies ahead. This is one of the basic processes of
learning for our species: We learn through experience; experience is one of the best teachers; the
more we experience, the greater our potential to learn; and the greater our ability to handle life’s var-
ious, challenging situations.
Some of the experiences of childhood are positive: the intimacy of suckling on a breast, the smil-
ing face of a parent looking at a young child in a crib, times of play, or the discovery of a new ability
like standing on your feet for the first time. There are also experiences that may be negative or un-
pleasant: death or separation from a parent, an environment of conflict or hostility, the pain of illness,
or rejection by peers. The way a young child learns to respond to these life experiences will be de-
termined by how prepared they are for such an experience; and that, in turn, will determine to a large
degree how they handle their adulthood, for our quality of life is largely a product of how we man-
age experience. The more experiences we can create for a child, and the better equipped they are for
handling experience, the more we help ensure their well-being for the future.
It has been said—perhaps cynically, but also with some veracity—that experience is what you
get after you needed it. Metaphors are one way of providing children with experiences that they may
not yet have encountered and of equipping them with skills for such real-life situations when they
arise. Therapeutic tales can anticipate challenges or problems a child may yet have to encounter, and
model problem-solving skills or potential methods for managing such challenges, thus helping to pre-
pare the child for when the need is present.
Throughout Part Two, you will find a variety of healing stories that are designed not just to deal
with a situation when it occurs but also to prepare the listener for a potential occurrence. A child may
be helped to prepare for the death of an aging grandparent or much loved pet through stories about
managing grief (see Stories 51 and 52) that communicate it is appropriate to grieve, that describe the
rituals of burial, and that find strategies for saying good-bye—experiences a child may not have en-
countered or be prepared for. Other as-yet-to-be-experienced situations may include dealing with
an issue of morality (Stories 61 and 62, “Facing a Moral Dilemma”), being confronted by a trauma
(Stories 71 and 72, “Overcoming Adversity”), starting at a new school (Story 87, “Facing Changes”),
being involved in a motor vehicle accident (Story 88, “Getting Back on Your Feet”), encountering
drugs (Story 86, “Finding Solutions,” and Story 90, “Learning to Care for Yourself ”), or experienc-
MAGIC OF METAPHORThe Magic of Metaphor 9