Do I value the interactive process?A wonderful synergy often occurs as the result of shared thinking.

It can take you places you’ve never been. Publisher Malcolm Forbes asserted, “Listening to advice

often accomplishes far more than heeding it.” I must say, I didn’t always value shared thinking. For

many years, I tended to withdraw when I wanted to develop ideas. Only reluctantly did I work on ideas

with others. When a colleague challenged me on this, I started to analyze my hesitancy. I realized that

it went back to my college experience. Some days in the classroom I could tell that a teacher was

unprepared to lecture and instead spent the class time asking us to give our uninformed opinions on a

subject. Most of the time, the opinions seemed no better than mine. I had come to class so that the

professor could teach me. I realized that the process of sharing ideas wasn’t the problem; it was who

was doing the talking. Shared thinking is only as good as the people doing the sharing. Since learning

that lesson, I have embraced the interactive process, and now I believe it is one of my strengths. Still, I

always think about whom I bring around the table for a shared thinking session. (I’ll tell you my

guidelines for whom I invite later in this chapter.)

You must open yourself up to the idea of sharing ideas before you will engage in the process of shared
thinking.

2. Move from Competition to Cooperation

Jeffrey J. Fox, author of How to Become CEO, says, “Always be on the lookout for ideas. Be completely
indiscriminate as to the source. Get ideas from customers, children, competitors, other industries, or cab

drivers. It doesn’t matter who thought of an idea.”^18
A person who values cooperation desires to complete the ideas of others, not compete with them. If
someone asks you to share ideas, focus on helping the team, not getting ahead personally. And if you are
the one who brings people together to share their thoughts, praise the idea more than the source of the
idea. If the best idea always wins (rather than the person who offered it), then all will share their thoughts with
greater enthusiasm.

3. Have an Agenda When You Meet

I enjoy spending time with certain people, whether we discuss ideas or not: my wife, Margaret; my
children; my grandchildren; my parents. Though we often do discuss ideas, it doesn’t bother me if we don’t;
we are family. When I spend time with nearly anyone else in my life, however, I have an agenda. I know what I
want to accomplish.
The more I respect the wisdom of the person, the more I listen. For example, when I meet with someone
I’m mentoring, I let the person ask the questions, but I expect to do most of the talking. When I meet with
someone who mentors me, I mostly keep my mouth shut. In other relationships, the give and take is more
even. But no matter with whom I meet, I have a reason for getting together and I have an expectation for
what I’ll give to it and get from it. That’s true whether it’s for business or pleasure.

4. Get the Right People Around the Table

To get anything of value out of shared thinking, you need to have people around who bring something to
the table. As you prepare to ask people to participate in shared thinking, use the following criteria for the
selection process. Choose...

People whose greatest desire is the success of the ideas.

People who can add value to another’s thoughts.

People who can emotionally handle quick changes in the conversation.

People who appreciate the strengths of others in areas where they are weak.