4. Invest in People Intentionally

The highest level of unselfish thinking comes when you give of yourself to another person for that person’s
personal development or well-being. If you’re married or a parent, you know this from personal experience.
What does your spouse value most highly: money in the bank or your time freely given? What would small
children really rather have from you: a toy or your undivided attention? The people who love you would rather
have you than what you can give them.
If you want to become the kind of person who invests in people, then consider others and their journey so
that you can collaborate with them. Each relationship is like a partnership created for mutual benefit. As you go
into any relationship, think about how you can invest in the other person so that it becomes a win-win situation.
Here is how relationships most often play out:

I win, you lose—I win only once.

You win, I lose—You win only once.

We both win—We win many times.

We both lose—Good-bye, partnership!

The best relationships are win-win. Why don’t more people go into relationships with that attitude? I’ll tell
you why: most people want to make sure that they win first. Unselfish thinkers, on the other hand, go into a
relationship and make sure that the other person wins first. And that makes all the difference.

5. Continually Check Your Motives

François de la Rochefoucauld said, “What seems to be generosity is often no more than disguised
ambition, which overlooks a small interest in order to secure a great one.” The hardest thing for most people is
fighting their natural tendency to put themselves first. That’s why it’s important to continually examine your
motives to make sure you’re not sliding backward into selfishness.
Do you want to check your motives? Then follow the modeling of Benjamin Franklin. Every day, he asked
himself two questions. When he got up in the morning, he would ask, “What good am I going to do today?” And
before he went to bed, he would ask, “What good have I done today?” If you can answer those questions with
selflessness and integrity, you can keep yourself on track.

GIVE WHILE YOU LIVE

In the fall of 2001, we all witnessed a demonstration of unselfish thinking unlike anything we had seen in the
United States for many years. Who can forget the events of September 11, 2001? I had just finished teaching a
leadership lesson when my assistant, Linda Eggers, came into the studio to announce the tragic news. Like
most Americans, I remained riveted to the television all day and heard the reports of the firefighters and police
officers who raced into the World Trade Center towers to help others, never worrying about their own safety.
In the days following the tragedy, millions of Americans expressed a great desire to do something that
would help the situation. I had the same desire. My company was scheduled to do a training via simulcast on
September 15, the Saturday following the tragedy. Our leadership team decided to add a one-and-a-half-hour
program titled “America Prays” to the end of the simulcast. In it, my friend Max Lucado wrote and read a prayer,
expressing the heart’s cry of millions. Franklin Graham prayed for our national leaders. Jim and Shirley Dobson
gave advice to parents on how to help their children deal with the event. And Bruce Wilkinson and I asked the
simulcast viewers to give financially to the people injured on September 11. Amazingly, they gave $5.9 million,
which World Vision graciously agreed to distribute to those in need. Unselfish thinking and giving turned a very
dark hour into one of light and hope.
Less than two weeks after the tragedy, I was able to travel to Ground Zero in New York City. I went to view
the site of the destruction, to thank the men and women clearing away the wreckage, and to pray for them. I
can’t really do justice to what I saw. I’ve traveled to New York dozens of times. It’s one of my favorite places in
the world. My wife and I had been up in the towers with our children many times before and have wonderful
memories of that area. To look at the place where the buildings had once stood and to see nothing but rubble,