Give and Take: WHY HELPING OTHERS DRIVES OUR SUCCESS

(Michael S) #1

Although many of us hold strong giver values, we’re often reluctant to express them at work. But the
growth of teamwork, service jobs, and social media has opened up new opportunities for givers to
develop relationships and reputations that accelerate and amplify their success. We’ve covered
evidence that givers can rise to the top across a stunningly diverse range of occupations, from
engineering to medicine to sales. And remember when Peter Audet, the Australian financial adviser,
seemed to be wasting hours of his time by driving out to help a poor scrap metal worker manage his
money? The client turned out to be the wealthy owner of a scrap metal business, resulting in major
gains for Peter’s firm—but the story doesn’t end there.
Peter learned that the scrap metal owner was too busy running the business to take a vacation, and
he wanted to help. A few months later, another client expressed that she wasn’t happy in her job as a
manager at an auto body shop. Peter recommended her to the scrap metal owner, who had a need for
her skills, and it turned out that she lived five minutes away from the scrap metal yard. She started
work three weeks later, and the client took his wife on their first vacation in years. “Both of these
clients are happy and grateful that I think about their whole lives, not just their investments,” Peter
says. “The more I help out, the more successful I become. But I measure success in what it has done
for the people around me. That is the real accolade.”
In the mind of a giver, the definition of success itself takes on a distinctive meaning. Whereas
takers view success as attaining results that are superior to others’ and matchers see success in terms
of balancing individual accomplishments with fairness to others, givers are inclined to follow Peter’s
lead, characterizing success as individual achievements that have a positive impact on others. Taking
this definition of success seriously might require dramatic changes in the way that organizations hire,
evaluate, reward, and promote people. It would mean paying attention not only to the productivity of
individual people but also to the ripple effects of this productivity on others. If we broadened our
image of success to include contributions to others along with individual accomplishments, people
might be motivated to tilt their professional reciprocity styles toward giving. If success required
benefiting others, it’s possible that takers and matchers would be more inclined to find otherish ways
to advance personal and collective interests simultaneously.
The connection between individual and collective success underlies every story of successful
givers in this book. As an entrepreneur, Adam Rifkin built his network of influential people by trying
to help everyone he met, launching successful companies and enabling thousands of colleagues to find
jobs, develop skills, and start productive businesses along the way. As a venture capitalist, David
Hornik invested in lucrative companies and fortified his reputation by helping aspiring entrepreneurs
create better pitches and gain funding for their start-ups. As a comedy writer, George Meyer earned
Emmys and established a reputation as the funniest writer in Hollywood while elevating the
effectiveness of and opening doors for the people who collaborated with him on Army Man and The
Simpsons.
In the classroom, C. J. Skender earned dozens of teaching awards while inspiring a new
generation of students, seeing their potential and motivating them to achieve this potential, and Conrey
Callahan sustained her energy and was nominated for a national teaching award after she started a
nonprofit to help underprivileged children prepare for college. In health care, Kildare Escoto and
Nancy Phelps rose to the top of their company’s sales revenue charts by striving to help patients. In
consulting, Jason Geller and Lillian Bauer made partner early by virtue of the contributions that they
made through mentoring and developing others, which in turn enriched the knowledge of junior

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