Hillbilly Elegy

leave without shaking your hand. I tried
to be myself; I’ve always considered
myself gregarious but not oppressive.
But I was so impressed by the
environment that “being myself” meant
staring slack-jawed at the fineries of the
restaurant and wondering how much they
cost.
The wineglasses look like they’ve
been Windexed. That dude did not buy
his suit at the three-suits-for-one sale
at Jos. A. Bank; it looks like it’s made
from silk. The linens on the table look
softer than my bedsheets; I need to
touch them without being weird about
it. Long story short, I needed a new plan.
By the time we sat down for dinner, I’d