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Psychologist Kristin Neff has identified ways to express self-
compassion: When we treat ourselves with compassion, we accept that
there are parts of our personality that we may not be satisfied with, but
we do not berate ourselves as we try to address them. When we go
through a difficult time, we are caring and kind to ourselves, as we would
be to a friend or relative. When we feel inadequate in some way, we
remind ourselves that all people have these feelings or limitations. When
things are hard, we recognize that all people go through similar
challenges. And finally when we are feeling down, we try to understand
this feeling with curiosity and acceptance rather than rejection or self-
judgment.

•           •           •

he Archbishop and the Dalai Lama had revealed throughout the week
one of the core paradoxes of happiness: We are most joyful when we
focus on others, not on ourselves. In short, bringing joy to others is the
fastest way to experience joy oneself. As the Dalai Lama had said, even
ten minutes of meditation on the well-being of others can help one to feel
joyful for the whole day—even before coffee. When we close our heart,
we cannot be joyful. When we have the courage to live with an open
heart, we are able to feel our pain and the pain of others, but we are also
able to experience more joy. The bigger and warmer our heart, the
stronger our sense of aliveness and resilience.
When Anthony Ray Hinton went to death row after a trial that can
only be called a travesty of justice, he was understandably angry and
heartbroken at how the American justice system had failed him. “When
no one believes a word you say, eventually you stop saying anything. I
did not say good morning. I did not say good evening. I did not say a
how-do-you-do to anyone. If the guards needed some information from
me, I wrote it down on a piece of paper. I was angry. But going into the
fourth year, I heard a man in the cell next to mine crying. The love and
compassion I had received from my mother spoke through me and asked
him what was wrong. He said he had just found out that his mother had