HOW TO MAKE CANNED

BEANS TASTE GOOD

I love beans and my wife loves soup, which makes

winter a great time of the year for both of us. Well,
not exactly. The reality is that my wife loves soup
and I love whiskey. It’s a would-be serendipitous
situation for both parties involved, considering how
often the spirit moves me to make soup when I’m
tipsy. I accidentally made soup again, dear, I tell her.
I say would-be, because my wife seems to prefer my
sober soup to my drunk soup (even though the latter
always tastes better to me). So this year I decided
that I love beans almost as much as I love whiskey,
and that I love my wife significantly more than I love
either, and so I would trade in the bottle for the
legume, and drunk soup for bean soup.
Of course, with the cold weather and lack of
spirits, I was ready to get cracking right away.
Problem is, dried beans are not exactly fast food,