chapter 9
Advanced Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills
This chapter contains all the applied skills of interpersonal effectiveness. Learning and practicing
these skills will change your life because you’ll have far less conflict and far more rewards in your
relationships. Your connections to people will feel different—more satisfying than frustrating and
more supportive than depriving. In this chapter, you’ll learn the following specific skills:
Knowing what you want
Modulating intensity
Making a simple request
Making basic assertiveness scripts
Using assertive listening skills
Saying no
Coping with resistance and conflict
Negotiating
Analyzing problem interactions
KNOWING WHAT YOu WANT
Interpersonal effectiveness has to begin with self-knowledge. You need to be clear about what
you feel and want. Chapters 6 and 7 on emotion regulation will give you words for the nuances