See! Tell a Feel
Hear ---.... Story --....Figure 6-2. The Path to ActionMASTER MY STORIES 99we are telling the story, we can take back control of our own
emotions by telling a different story. We now have a point of
leverage or control. If we can find a way to control the stories we
tell, by rethinking or retelling them, we can master our emotions
and, therefore, master our crucial conversations.
OUR STORIES
"Nothing in this world is good or bad,
but thinking makes it so. "
-WILLIAM SHAKESPEAREStories explain what's going on. Exactly what are our stories?
They are our interpretations of the facts. They help explain what
we see and hear. They're theories we use to explain why, how,
and what. For instance, Maria asks: "Why does Louis take over?
lie doesn't trust my ability to communicate. He thinks that
because I'm a woman, people won't listen to me."
Our stories also help explain how. "How am I supposed to
juuge all of this? Is this a good or a bad thing? Louis thinks I'm
incompetent. and this is bad."