184 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
Figure 10-3. The Dialogue Modelyourself in dialogue by focusing on what you really want and then
behaving as if you really do want it. A void the Sucker's Choices
that make it appear as if silence and violence are the only options.
When your emotions start running strong and taking control of
the conversation, use the Master My Stories principle to bring
your arrow back to the Pool of Shared Meaning. Retrace your Path
to Action, watch for clever stories, and tell the rest of the story.
When others move to silence or violence, Make It Safe. As we
strengthen safety, others are more likely to lay aside their silence
and violence and move back toward dialogue in the center.
What to do. The next three principles teach us what to do with
our meaning. First, we learned to STATE My Path. We share our
own sensitive or controversial views by following our Path to
Action. We share the facts first and then tentatively share our
story. We then demonstrate we're serious about dialogue by
encouraging others to share their story (Figure 10 -4 )-especially
if it's different from our own.