CHANGE YOUR LIFE 221Do something. Years ago, Dale Carnegie recommended that
you read his now classic How to Win Friends and Influence
People one chapter at a time. Then, once you finished the chap
ter, he suggested you go out and practice what you learned from
it. We agree. Pick a chapter you found relevant (possibly one
with a low score in your Style Under Stress test) and read it
again. This time, implement what you learned over a three-to
five-day period. Look for opportunities. Pounce on every chance
you get. Step up to the plate and give the skills a try. Then pick
another chapter and repeat the process.
Discuss the material. When you first learn something, your
knowledge is "preverbal." That is, you might recognize the con
cepts if you see them, but you're not able to discuss them with
ease. You haven't talked about them enough to make them part
of your functional vocabulary. You haven't turned the words
into phrases and the phrases into scripts. To move your knowl
edge to the next level, read a chapter and then discuss it with a
friend or loved one. Talk about the material until the concepts
come naturally.
Teach the material. If you really want to master a concept,
teach it to someone else. Stick with it until the other person
understands the concept well enough to pass it on to someone
else.
Master the Skills
There's a story going around the self-help talk circuit about a
Vietnam War prisoner who played golf in his head in order to
help maintain his sanity. He'd mentally step up to each hole at
his favorite golf course and "play" an entire round. After being
released, he eventually found his way to the course, where he
promptly shot his best score ever, one under par. When his
friends acted astonished at his new-found talent, he explained,