5
They had ltved together {or so many years th at
they mistook their arguments for conversation.
-MARJOlUli KEllOGGMake It Safe
How to Make It Safe to Talk
about Almost Anything
The last chapter contained a promise: If you spot safety risks as
they happen, you can step out of the conversation, build safety,
and then find a way to dialogue about almost anything. In this
chapter we'll fulfill that promise by teaching what it takes to
restore safety.
To get started, let's examine a situation where safety is at risk.
We'll eavesdrop on a couple as they try to discuss one of the
most delicate of topics-physical intimacy.
First a little background. Jotham thinks he and Yvonne are inti
mate with each other far too seldom. Yvonne is satisfied with their
physical relationship. For years the two have acted out rather than
talked out their concerns. When Jotham wants to be amorous and