At this time Napoleon was so ugly, he cared so little for his appearance,
that his uncombed and unpowdered hair gave him a disagreeable look.
I can still picture him, entering the courtyard of the Hotel de la
Tranquillite, and crossing it with an awkward, uncertain step. He wore
a nasty round hat pulled down over his eyes, from which his hair, like a
spaniel's ears, flopped over his frock-coat ... an overall sickly effect
was created by his thinness and his yellow complexion.Other contemporary descriptions mention his short stature and his deep
set, grey eyes, which could look gloomy or fiery and could be changed in
a trice to produce either a charming or a terrifying effect. Some observers
noted his unusually delicate features or his 'spaniel's ears' haircut - cut
square under the ears and falling to the shoulders - while others spoke of
the peculiar charm of the lines of his mouth and his palpable physical
presence - something no other Bonaparte possessed. But all were agreed
about the predominant tone of depression.
Certainly in these dark days in Paris in the summer of 1795 Napoleon
contemplated suicide. At other times he thought of going into service
with the Sultan of Turkey, always provided his beloved Joseph would
agree to serve as French consul at Chios. He actually submitted a formal
application to the War Ministry to be allowed to serve in Turkey, but the
application was not immediately processed because of incompetence by
Ministry clerks. The mixture of depression and emotion for Joseph
comes through in a letter written to Joseph in June:
Whatever may happen to you, remember that you cannot possibly have
a warmer friend than I, one to whom you are more dear or who is more
sincerely desirous for your happiness. Life is a mere dream that fades.
Should you go away and suspect that it may be for some time, let me
have a miniature of yourself. We have lived together for so long and
been so close that our hearts have become as one- you know more than
anyone how completely mine belongs to you.Napoleon's letters from this period, both to Joseph and Desiree, are
gloomy and depressive. The epistles to Joseph oscillate between the
sentiment that life has little meaning and he would welcome death and a
hyper-cynicism and money obsession, heightened by the presence all
around him in Paris of quick-fix speculators, shady get-rich-quick
characters, parvenus, arrivistes and the nouveaux riches: 'There is only one
thing to do in this world and that is to keep acquiring money and more
money, power and more power. All the rest is meaningless.' There is
much about the Napoleon of 1795 to back Madame de Remusat's