296 THE PRINCIPLES OF SELF-MASTERY
was spending it just as fast as I made it, until finally my friends
got tired of making me loans.
If I had shown the slightest inclination to curb my expenses
to the extent of only IO percent, these wonderful men would
have been willing to divide fifty-fifty with me, letting me pay
them 5 percent of it and saving 5 percent. They did not care
so much about the return of the money they had loaned me,
as that they wanted to see me pull myself together.
The crash in my affairs came five years ago. Two friends
who had stood by me loyally became impatient, and told me
frankly that I needed a drastic lesson. And they gave it to me
all right. I was forced into bankruptcy, which nearly broke my
heart. I felt that every person I knew was pointing the finger of
scorn at me. This was very foolish. While there was comment,
it was not at all unfriendly. It was expressive of keen regret that
a man who had attained so much prestige in his profession, and
had earned so much money, should have allowed himself to get
into financial difficulties.
Proud and sensitive to the core, I felt the disgrace of bank-
ruptcy so keenly that I decided to go to Florida, where I had
once done a special piece of work for a client. It seemed to me
to be the coming EI Dorado. I figured that maybe I could make
sufficient money in a few years so that I could return to New
York, not only with a competency but with enough to pay all
my debts in full. For a time it looked as though I would realize
this ambition; but I was caught in the big real estate collapse.
So here I am back in the old town where I once had big earning
power and hundreds of friends and well-wishers.
It has been a strange experience.
One thing is certain: I have learned my lesson at last. I feel
sure that opportunities will come my way to redeem myself,
and that my earning power will be restored to me. And when