achieve here externally is achieved through samadhi internally. It is an
effortless state, where one experiences the grace of the Self. This is a
state of great bliss and fulfillment. Samadhi can be explained by the
head, which does not embody the real truth as samadhi can only be ex
perienced by the heart. Few of us may get all the way to samadhi, but
we are concerned here with evolution and progressive growth and
change. And it is this growth and change, this ever greater ability to see
the truth, that will allow us to live increasingly in freedom.
There are problems with samadhi, as there are with every other
petal of yoga. For example, if someone asks the question of a saint,
"Are you a saint?" there is no truthful answer. As it is an experience
out of time and space, without historical record, what is the answer?
If a saint says, "Yes, I am," he becomes a non-saint, a liar in that mo
ment, because he is not in samadhi when he replies. He can reply only
from his present self. If he replies, "No, I am not," he is a liar too as
he has touched the state of samadhi and seen the ultimate reality. It is
not a question that can be asked or answered.
As for myself, I am often reluctant to declare that I am a yogi. I
can say only that I am on the path, and I'm very near. I can say I'm a
forerunner no doubt. I am near the goal, let it come on its own. I
have no motive. I had lots of motives in the early days. I have no mo
tive now. My motive is only to continue what I learned so that I may
not slip back. It's not an ambition, but I do not want to have a fall
anavasthitatva. And I do not want to develop the character of
tamasic nature in my system, that's all. You may ask, why do you
practice then? I practice so that the tamasic nature may not dominate
over my sattvic nature. "Renunciation in practice" was my answer to
a lot of people who wondered why I continued to practice �ven after
I had achieved what I wanted. But by "renunciation" I mean freedom
from the egoic self. When one stops thinking of the "effect" or the
fruit, it is a deep, inward experience. It is not meditation as the term
is used today, which is a kind of sedative, a drug, which does not
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