family. I also wanted to be a yogi. In all Indian tradition there has been
no contradiction here. When my wife was alive, my brahmacarya was
expressed in my fidelity to her. After her death, desire withered, and
my brahmacarya has been that of a celibate. I followed truth (satya)
during the first volume of my life, and I followed it in the second. Be
cause both were founded in truth and integrity, both bore fruit.
Sexual love, as I have said, can be the apprenticeship to universal
love. What would I have achieved in my life without the love, support,
and companionship of Ramamani? Probably not much. I was conti
nent, which means I contained myself. Between what? Between the
banks of the river of life, one being ethical and religious duty (dharma),
the other being freedom (moksa). If the current of my life had over
flowed either bank, my inability to control myself, what we call un
bridled lust, would have led to loss of the quest for Self. I would have
offended against truth and virtue as I conceive them. My wounded
conscience would have obscured my soul.
Everyone, however, does not set off on the path from the source
point. Many newcomers or neophytes on the yogic path are not disci
plined. Realistically I cannot demand it of them any more than I could
put them in Hanumanasana in their first lesson. I keep on giving guid
ance. I correct them in asana and try to arouse the principles of yama
and niyama in asana. I try to lead them on to higher practice, but this
does not happen instantly. Eventually, however, they come to under
stand that a lack of self-discipline in any area is a waste of energy. For
example, even throwing food away is an offence against the life force
of the food. If, on the other hand, you overeat, it is an offence against
your own life force. Unethical behavior of any sort will not disturb the
beginner at all, but its effect at the spiritual level will be highly dam
aging. If we look at sex only as a moral issue, we will rebel against
it. Yama is not a question of just invoking the opposite of what we de
sire to do, hut of cultivating right perception in order to examine
the true facts and consequences of the issue we arc confronted with.
I I\' I Nlo IN I' It I' I, Ill 1M