98 PSYCHOLOGY
human motivation is particularly useful when one is trying to explain why people
do self-defeating things.
The two kinds of motives that tend to be repressed are forbidden sexual desires
and forbidden aggressive urges. Note the importance of the word forbidden.A
desire for sex with one’s spouse would not qualify as a forbidden sexual desire.
However, if Conrad, a married man, desires sex with his wife’s sister, then this is
likely to violate his moral code and to become repressed. Conrad finds himself, for
example, becoming hostile to his wife’s sister. He tells his wife that he doesn’t like
her sister and wishes she wouldn’t visit so often. His wife can’t understand why he
has so much animosity toward her sister.
The explanation for the animosity lies in an ego defense mechanism called
reaction formation(see chapter 13). A reaction formation reinforces the repres-
sion. By acting hostile toward a woman he is attracted to, the husband keeps her
at a distance, alienates her, and protects himself against his repressed sexual desire.
The behavior is, of course, self-defeating because he is undermining the quality of
his relationship with his wife and a relative.(a) According to Freud, what force in the mind creates unconscious motives?(b) The two kinds of motives that tend to be unconscious are forbidden desires
and forbidden urges.
Answers: (a) Repression; (b) sexual; aggressive.One of the problems with unconscious motives is that they may lead to act-
ing out,behavior in which the unconscious motives gain temporary ascendancy
over the defense mechanism of repression. For example, Conrad has had one
drink too many at a New Year’s Eve party. He finds himself kissing or touching
his wife’s sister in an inappropriate way. She is furious, tells Conrad’s wife, and
Conrad’s marriage is threatened. The next day, sober, he says he can’t understand
“what took possession of me.”
Here is an example of how a forbidden aggressive urge can cause a problem in
living. Linette, a mother of three children and a full-time homemaker, is married
to Eric, an insurance broker. Eric is an authoritarian husband. He is demanding
and controlling and has very little regard for Linette’s feelings. She feels taken for
granted. In terms of her religious tradition and her concept of how a good wife
should behave, she does not allow herself the luxury of hostile feelings toward Eric
at a conscious level. Her frustrations induce her to feel aggressive toward Eric, but
her code of conduct is such that she needs to repress her wish to give him a piece
of her mind or refuse to be the sweet person she usually tries to be. The repressed
hostility takes its toll. She suffers from a moderate, chronic depression. When she
is cooking, she burns food “by accident.” She is an unenthusiastic sex partner.
According to Freud, forbidden sexual impulses and forbidden aggressive urges
play a significant role in self-defeating behaviors. Actions that seem paradoxical